so i had some stuff go down yesterday at work that really tested my patience. i won't go into the details but i immediately thought of a verse and wondered what would be the appropriate Godly response to the situation.
the verse was from Matthew 5: 38-39
You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
in my interpretation an "eye for eye, and tooth for tooth" would lead me to believe that i should not lay down and accept any sort of abuse (be it verbal, emotional or physical). so does that mean i should stand up and give it right back???
the second part of the verse "...strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." would lead me to believe the exact opposite. that by not retaliating, i would be a "better person" and not stoop to the person's level.
then there's the middle part of the verse, "do not resist an evil person"...so should i embrace evil people? by embracing evil people, am i demonstrating God's love???
i don't believe that God intends His people to be soft, mushy and pushovers. i believe he intends us to be strong and confident because of Him. but where does the line lay when it comes to dealing with belligerent, arrogant, abusive people???
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I think it's all in our perspective. Turning the other cheek does not mean turning into a doormat. I believe it means to take the high road. Through different experiences in my life, I've learned that I have a right and responsibility to express my feelings. That doesn't give me leave to be a jerk or be disrespectful to others, but when they have upset me, I'm allowed to be angry and tell them. I used to bottle it all in until I would explode on the people I loved. It's not worth it. Even Christ got angry and let people know when he was. I think the most important thing we can do is be honest.
ReplyDeleteNow, having said that, I have also learned that I need to use discresion. Sometimes, I have to talk to myself alot and say, "what is this person's deal that they feel it's ok to treat me like this?" Maybe they are struggling with a personal problem or lack of their own self esteem. We don't know who is carrying around silent hurts in their hearts with out a way of knowing how to heal those hurts. I pray a lot in my head through out the day and try, when those situations come up, to ask quickly and silently, "Heavenly Father, help me to see this person the way that you see them. Please help me to know how to handle this situation in the way you would want me to." It gives me piece of mind and helps me to know when to speak out and when to just turn it over to him. That's my take on it anyway.
I agree I used to be a poster child for "Doormat" if you looked it up in the dictionary there would be my name in blinking lights and a picture of me looking trampled. I have since learned that I deserve better and so does everyone else. I deserve to be heard and often have some quite insightful things to say. The most important thing I think you both touched on is using discretion and treating others the way you would like to be treated. Showing the higher road and demonstrate behavior that would make God proud to call you his child "lead by example" maybe your kindness to them will help heal there hurt and the next person they meet will not feel there wrath. Maybe you will show them that bit of light that they needed to brighten there day. I am not always the best at this myself but I do try to be a Godly person. Sometimes I need a little reminding though and I always appreciate it when my husband points out to me when I am wrong in the way I treat someone even if it is a perfect stranger who did not hear what I may have said to them when they cut me off on the road, God heard it and when JP tells me I am wrong to say harsh words I can then apologize and learn from that experience. I think we have a right to stand up for ourselves when someone has done us wrong but I think there are always ways to handle a situation that would make God proud rather than resorting to violence and anger. I also feel that there will be times you will state your piece and then you will need to walk away from the situation until the other person has time to calm down.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I sent to JP and Carrie. I thought it was too long to post, but Carie disagreed. This is an excerpt from a Conference Talk that was given last October for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The Talk was entitled "Our Hearts Knit As One" and was given by Henry B. Eyring:
ReplyDelete"...Pride is the great enemy of unity. You have seen and felt its terrible effects. Just days ago I watched as two people—good people—began with a mild disagreement. It started as a discussion of what was true but became a contest about who was right. Voices become gradually louder. Faces became a little more flushed. Instead of talking about the issue, people began talking about themselves, giving evidence why their view, given their great ability and background, was more likely to be right.
You would have felt alarm as I did. We have seen the life-destroying effects of such tragic conflict. You and I know people who left the fellowship of the Saints over injured pride.
Happily I am seeing more and more skillful peacemakers who calm troubled waters before harm is done. You could be one of those peacemakers, whether you are in the conflict or an observer.
One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. To be that peacemaker, you need to have the simple faith that as children of God, with all our differences, it is likely that in a strong position we take, there will be elements of truth. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. You can help yourself and others to see that common ground if you ask for help from God and then act. He will answer your prayer to help restore peace, as He has mine.
That same principle applies as we build unity with people who are from vastly different backgrounds. The children of God have more in common than they have differences. And even the differences can be seen as an opportunity. God will help us see a difference in someone else not as a source of irritation but as a contribution. The Lord can help you see and value what another person brings which you lack. More than once the Lord has helped me see His kindness in giving me association with someone whose difference from me was just the help I needed. That has been the Lord's way of adding something I lacked to serve Him better."
To read the entire talk go to: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-21,00.html
Sorry, just one more thought. This is another excerpt from a different talk entitled "Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship". It is so beautiful in it's language: "To respond in a Christlike way cannot be scripted or based on a formula. The Savior responded differently in every situation. When He was confronted by wicked King Herod, He remained silent. When He stood before Pilate, He bore a simple and powerful testimony of His divinity and purpose. Facing the moneychangers who were defiling the temple, He exercised His divine responsibility to preserve and protect that which was sacred. Lifted up upon a cross, He uttered the incomparable Christian response: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
ReplyDeleteSome people mistakenly think responses such as silence, meekness, forgiveness, and bearing humble testimony are passive or weak. But, to “love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us], and persecute [us]” (Matthew 5:44) takes faith, strength, and, most of all, Christian courage."
thank you becky...this is all really good stuff. though i may not have necessarily been a doormat, i definitely did bottle things up. sometimes i feel like the problem may be too small for God or something that isn't worth asking His help with...which is absolutely wrong. no problem is too small for Him.
ReplyDelete