In light of my previous post today, I thought I would share a story about my life.
Not so many years ago, I was lost. My days were filled with work and my nights were filled with drugs, alcohol and loneliness. I pursued many sins of the flesh; I chased after the "things" of this world that I had been told would make me happy. But the reality was that I was at the lowest point in my life. For so many years, every night I would plan my last letter to my dad and to my friends. I would reflect on a "perfect song" that I would have on repeat so when I was found, it might help explain why I would have ended my life. On can remember on one particular night, I laid in bed crying out to God asking for help, but with no apparent answer, I screamed "F@#! YOU GOD!!!!" The only reason I never went through with the whole ordeal, was because I was so far in debt that I could not afford the gun that would take my life from this world. To my friends, family and co-workers, I was the most upbeat and friendly person who was well on his way to a successful career. If they only knew.
After I met Carrie and I began going back to church, I broke. My whole being was shattered, my old life was about ready to crumble. I found God again, who by such amazing grace, took me back into his arms and began to reshape me into the person He knew I could be. Almost overnight, my loneliness and suicidal thoughts had vanished. Fast forward a couple of years and at a Bible study group, I said this:
"...when I was pursuing all of the things I wanted and living the life I wanted, I was the most unhappy person. But when I came to Christ, I began to do what He wanted and now I am VERY happy..."
I believe that non-Christians fear the Christian life because they have to give up all of the "great stuff" in the world. But the truth is, all of that doesn't matter. God says, He will give us everything we need! As our lives are re-shaped by God, what we want and what we need become two very different things. We find happiness in what we need. We truly do find out that less is more...
More God = More Happiness
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I didn't know you had had such a hard time before. It's amazing how the trials we each bear shape our lives. They really do stretch us. Our former President of my church said once, “All of us have problems. We face them every day. How grateful I am that we have difficult things to wrestle with. They keep us young, if that is possible. They keep us alive. They keep us going. They keep us humble. They pull us down to our knees to ask the God of Heaven for help in solving them. Be grateful for your problems, and know that somehow there will come a solution…Just do the best you can, but be sure it is the very best. Then leave it in the hands of the Lord.” That quote has helped me in many times of trial. Though we each suffer different pains at different times, that pain later, through Christ's Atonement, leads us to help others who are struggling with similar things. It gives us empathy, humility, and reassuring peace in our Lord and Savior.
ReplyDeleteJP, At the time I met you JP I had no idea that you were struggling so much nor did I know when we started dating, but I am thankful everyday that God put you in my life and that he prompted me to invite you to church so that you could find Him again. I can't imagine this world without you and I hope and pray that we are truly together for eternity. And I look forward to every task God sets at our feet as I know with him in our lives we can accomplish anything.
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